It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize