U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We need to get me chipped asap
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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