That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
