he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
