Whod you bang
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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