Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
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