We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am midnight drunk by noon
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
