WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
