NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
