So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
