So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
