Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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