Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Randomize
