The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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