I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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