She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
