she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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