It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
