That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm at about main and main street
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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