i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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