Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Randomize
