No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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