also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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