then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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