Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
