you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
