What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize