census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
