she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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