i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just found puke in my bra..
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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