You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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