Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
