so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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