yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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