All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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