Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
