We should be called the Road Head Warriors
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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