Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My dick has a subreddit
I have tasted many bathrooms
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
