The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm just crazy horny about you
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
