how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
