Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
