I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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