there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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