so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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