Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
