do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
