I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
