We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
