Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
