I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Randomize
