Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
