good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
