Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
did i walk over a car last night?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
