So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
