when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
3pm strippers are depressing
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize