I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
