if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
