he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
