I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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