Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
