There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Barsexuality is the new black.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
